First Trimester

Doing a little happy dance...I made some friends!!!! Okay, this may not be exciting to you but it is for me. That is the one thing that sucks the most about moving, having to make new friends. Anyway, I met this woman Mary Ann and her son Evan at the park the other day and she told me about a playgroup that she belongs to that meets every Thursday at 10. Well, I met up with them today, and all the women are fantastic! And they all live super close to me. I was beginning to wonder if there were any kids on this island. All of our neighbors are over 65. Anyway, I got some great advice on preschools, things to do with the kids, etc. I'm now part of their little group and we're all going to meet at the aquarium for next week's playgroup. And I'm so glad I found kids for Aidan to play with. He asked me last week where all his friends were?! It was heartbreaking.

My clothes have been getting progressively tighter but today...BAM...I've got the pot belly. This round lump literally appeared over night. Now my mission is to find a pair of underwear that I can wear. The ones I have on need to be taken off and I'm tempted to go commando. They are annoyingly too small! Just my trivial dilemma of the day...

Moving was so much easier last time. We moved into a brand new house and the only work we did on it was work we *wanted* to do, not had to do. This house, I am literally cleaning 20 years worth of grime and sludge off the saltillo tile. The people who lived here before were elderly and the woman died 5 years ago and was an invalid for 5 years before that. This place is just dirty, but it's coming along. I'm armed at all times with bleach and a sponge!

I realized yesterday that my update seemed rather negative. There have been quite a lot of positive things going on too. Aidan is now completely potty trained with an occasional peepee accident if he gets too involved in something. But he poops everyday and actually looks forward to it. He has to give us a status report each time...size, color, smell....not exactly classy but whatever keeps him going. Fiona is all the two year old she can be. Her temper is wicked but she can be so sweet when she wants to be. She is so lovey, can count to 20, knows all her colors (Aidan is *finally* not getting green and blue mixed up.), she is just smart as a whip. I have my second midwife appointment today. I had a consultation last week and I absolutely LOVE Beth and I'm so excited to have a homebirth. I'm hoping to hear the heartbeat today. I've been feeling the tickly wiggle of squishy for about a week and a half now. I can't wait for bigger movements but I'll settle for now for whatever I can get!

As much as a pain in the arse the house is, we really do love it. It is so much fun to live on the water. It is a small community, not too small in size, but small as in everybody knows each other and are really friendly. Which could have it's bad points but for now it's all been positive. The neighbors are all 60+ but are really sweet and helpful. The kids love watching the fish and boats go by. The other day while driving to the house we even saw 2 dolphins jumping in the bay. too cool. Aidan can't wait until my Dad comes in a couple of weeks so that he can teach Aidan to fish.

omg, not only have things been just absolutely crazy...I've been suffering from severe computer withdrawal! The cable guy just left and I set up the computer as fast as I could. It's been over a month since my little fingers have touched a keyboard. Anyway, we are in the house but not quite "in" the house. We just moved the contents of the apartment into the house. The movers come on Monday. This transitional time really sucked this time. There were so many days that I really wanted to run away from home, but of course I couldn't. I've been walking a very fine line of having a mental breakdown. This poor kid inside me has been getting nothing but my bad energy vibes. Seriously, it's been very "dark" here, but I do see a light coming soon. There is just so much to do here in the house. Fixing up a house isn't as easy with 2 toddlers as it was when we were childless and doing it. But the upstairs is almost completely done. The kids rooms have been painted, Fiona's a pretty lavender and Aidan's a pale sage green. We just have to finish stenciling the buzz lightyear spaceships and planets on the walls. New carpeting went in last week and it already looks 1000% better and the stinky old man smell is finally dissipating (sp?). I've been busying myself with cleaning, the floors, windows, bathrooms, sanitizing everything. It's slow, but I'm getting there.

We got our first peek at the new little bean this afternoon. We had an ultrasound done at Baylor. The littlest Lynch is alive and well, measuring 7 weeks 4 days, with a beautiful flickering heartbeat. Aidan was fascinated by the blurry dot on the screen, though I'm not too sure that he really gets it that there really is a baby growing in mommy's belly. Fiona was a bit less interested and kept insisting that I get up off the table. She thought I was sleeping. I love having an early ultrasound done. It makes it very real. I'm really am going to be a mommy of 3!

I squeezed in Fiona's 2 yr check up this week before the mayhem of moving next week. Since Fiona was having a full blown conversation with Dr. Molina, she is not the least bit concerned about her speech development. She just kept going and going, and ended up singing Happy Birthday to the doctor. She's got her birthday party on the brain. It was a boring checkup, which is always good. They weighed her like a big girl, standing on the scale, and she was all of 20 lbs 10 oz fully clothed! And she stands a petite 29 inches tall. Then I took the kids to lunch and to play at the play land in the mall. Then we hit Baskin Robbins, ordered Fiona's birthday cake, and I indulged in a scoop of rocky road ice cream in a sugar cone. Yum. Squishy was needing a good dose of milk fat and calcium. Now it's time for a nap.

Believe it or not, it's 9:30pm and this is the only time I've sat down all day. I didn't get back from my appointment with the surgeon today until 11am, then I went with my neighbor to lunch, then I had her two kids over for the afternoon and evening. They finally left at 7pm. Aidan went to bed early saying he wasn't feeling well. The boy passed out! I hope it's not the sickies and that he was just pooped from playing with Mack and Ethan.

Anyway, my appointment was rather uneventful. Thank goodness. the surgeon felt for the lumps and said I shouldn't worry about the lumps because she was able to easily palpitate them all. They were not movable like masses (cancerous) would be. She felt that the fibrocystic changes that we're feeling is probably in response to the pregnancy hormones. she reiterated the fact that I am part of the 2% of unlucky women that have severely lumpy fibrous breasts. She did do an ultrasound on them, but since they are dense and lumpy, she couldn't get a good view. She didn't want me to have another mammogram because I am pregnant. She is scheduling me for an MRI of my breasts just to get a better view. And given my history, she said she wants to have that kind of view considering I've never had it done before. It would give her another baseline to work from. I need to do some research and see if exposure to electromagnetic waves of the MRI would be ok for the offspring. She assured me that it was, but I need to find out for myself. And I'm not even sure if they will even be able to get me in next week before we move. If they can't, then I will just wait until after this baby is born and then have it done in Corpus, as well as another mammogram. Anyway, she wasn't alarmed, which calmed my nerves. Now I get to look forward to our ultrasound on Monday. Can't wait to take a peek at Squishy.

I set up the movers for next Friday. Next Friday! Can you believe it? Time has flown by and I still have so much stuff to do between now and then. But I'm having a really hard time keeping my eyes open. Squishy is sucking away all of my energy. I have my appointment with the surgeon on Thursday and tomorrow I have to run all over Houston picking up copies of my records to bring with me. Oh joy. Besides having the phone permanently attached to my ear making phone calls, tying up loose ends, and the fax machine whizzing away, life is same old, same old.

We sold our house today! Phew! I have been on the phone most of the day, sending and receiving faxes. My head hurts. But it's sold. Possibly vacating in as little as two weeks. Yikes!

Today I also had my first prenatal appointment with Rae Andrews, my midwife at Birthing Naturally. I wanted to squeeze a first visit in before we move to Corpus Christi in a few weeks just to make sure the bean is ok. The visit with Rae was very thorough and long, as they usually are, but at least I know she covers all bases. Things are great baby wise, but my breasts are another issue. Back in September at my annual exam, Rae found 3 suspicious lumps and I was sent for a mammogram and ultrasound to rule out malignancy. Fortunately for me, the ones found in September were due to fibrocystic changes, and I was diagnosed with Fibrocystic breast disease. Basically I'm part of 2% of the female population that have extremely lumpy dense breasts that are hard to examine. But today, Rae was able to easily palpitate 10 new masses, she stopped counting, as she ran out of fingers. They are more numerous, larger, and much more pronounced. I heard the concern in Rae's voice. I have an appointment with a surgeon and the radiologist again for next Thursday. I cried all the way home. What a day.

I'm just trying to keep my eyes open today. Fiona has been awake since 5am, which in turn, woke Aidan up, and we've all been awake since then. I'm whipped and cranky and it's only 8:30am.

I was doing some research online today and stumbled across some really alarming birth statistics for Corpus Christi. For one, it has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the entire country. Yikes! But also, it has a c-section rate of 38%. That is astonishing and scares the bejeezus out of me. I have wanted a homebirth since I was pregnant with Aidan and reading those stats, I definitely want to stay away from "mainstream" healthcare in Corpus. My previous two pregnancies have been easy and so have my deliveries, so I am confident that birthing at home would be the best choice for me. And the thought of having to give birth to this baby in a hospital and leaving my other two babies at home, kills me. When I had Fiona, it was the first and only time, I have been separated from Aidan, and I was so sad. I want to be home, with my family, to share this wonderful event with all of them.

I think it was just a stomach bug that I had the other day because right now I don't even feel pregnant. No tightness in my belly, no nausea, no fatigue. I guess I should be counting my blessings but I'd like to know that "squishy" is doing ok. "Squishy" is what Aidan has named the baby. I showed him a picture of an embryo in Lennart Nielson's book A Child is Born and he said it looked like squishy, the baby jellyfish in Finding Nemo. So we have a "squishy."

Either we all got a stomach bug this weekend or we ate something bad. Aidan and Fiona had "poopy" issues yesterday and now today my tummy is not feeling well at all. I don't know if it's my tummy problems that are making me nauseous or the littlest Lynch, but I feel like crap. I'm having a hard time getting yogurt to go down. I have a feeling it will be a low key day here.

Damian finally came home last night close to 1 am. I heard him enter the bedroom and I sprung awake. I showed him the card I made and the surprise was wonderful. No tears, no shock, just happiness and quiet surprise. With Damian working in Corpus Christi during the week and only home on the weekends, it really was a surprise that we got pregnant again so easily and quickly. And now we get to embark again on the most wonderful journey of our lives. I am so in love with Damian and the whole idea of our growing family. We're soon to become a family of five.

Damian just called and said that he'll be arriving home very late tonight. I've been bubbling over with excitement, trying so hard not to spill the beans. Now I have to wait even longer. I don't even know if I can stay awake that long.

Well, it's 9pm and there is no way this newly preggo mama is going to stay awake until after midnight. I just made Damian a card and attached the positive pregnancy test inside of it and left it on his pillow.

February 19, 2004

I'm staring at two beautiful pink lines! There's going to be another little Lynch in the house. Damian doesn't' come home from Corpus until tomorrow night. How on earth am I going to keep this juicy secret to myself ?? I desperately want to tell him right now but this is exciting news that has to be told in person. It's going to be a looong wait.